dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
