A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
