Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
