It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
