it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
