I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
