All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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