the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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