Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
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