'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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