does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
