the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
