Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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