i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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