a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
