No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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