Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
