he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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