the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
