Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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