im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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