If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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