My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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