maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
