Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
