just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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