friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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