she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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