That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize