Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
