i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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