please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize