He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
