my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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