i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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