I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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