do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize