he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
