i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
