im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
