So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
