You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
