she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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