i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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