her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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