You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
