Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i black out too much to be "responsible"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
