doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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