Where is the hickey?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
