Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How does one acquire holy water?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
