Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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