Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
