I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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