Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize