Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
