Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
