there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
