The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
