i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
