im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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