So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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