I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
