Screwed.edu
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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