If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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